Goood Morning readers. Im rusty from taking a week off, so to get myself back into the swing of things, Im coping out and doing this post in list format. At least it will be easier to read than my usual string of run-on-sentences. Plus now there will be physical proof that I actually do like things, hooray!
Love: When dogs spin in 7 circles before they lay down. Im guessing it stems from a time when dogs were wild and freely roamed the forests, and spinning helped them mat down the tall grasses to make sleep easier. Nowadays, spinning around in 15 circles before you lay down on the 1 inch high carpeting does nothing but make me laugh. Thank you dogs.
Hate: The asshole who decided vacuum sealing every yogurt cup, fruit cup, and fast food dipping sauce was a good idea. I really love trying to open one and immediately getting half of said food product all over the table or my hand or my car seat. Same goes for Kool Aid Bursts. Sweet! Now I have Kool Aid all over my crappy Formica counter top...that shit stains instantly....and I wont be able to sell this house ever without redoing the entire kitchen first because there are vague pinkish blotches all over the damn counter. Dont judge me. I can be 26 and still enjoy Kool Aid Bursts frequently enough for them to destroy the entire value of my kitchen.
Love: To quote the noble and heroic Kevin McCallister: "A lovely cheese pizza, just for me." There really is something magical about getting a delicious cheese pizza all to yourself. I would take one over a genuine D&G handbag any day. HA like there was even any question.
Hate: The fact that I kind of like Justin Bieber. I dont know what else to say. I have no excuse. Let the stoning begin.
Love: Those commercials for Liberty Mutual where people are helping each other. Like the lady pushes that dude's coffee cup away from the edge of the table, and that guy picks up a shoe that fell off a baby and hands it to the mother. They get me every time.
Hate: How come a fly, on a one in a million chance, can find its way into my house, but can not find its way back out again? In the summer months, we leave our sliding glass door open. But we dont have a screen door anymore to go with it. Because we are classy. Inevitably, this allows flying insects entrance into our home. And every time I see one, if its not buzzing around, it will be sitting on the glass of the sliding door, inches from freedom, walking back and forth, up and down looking for a way out. Dude. You are literally less than 6 inches away from the way you got in here in the first place. Cant you feel the breeze, or sense an open area to your right? So lame.
Love: Sleeping in a cold room under a huge down comforter. Really, is there anything better? Its so empowering. Take that cold. You think you can get to me, but you cant. Because Im under here, and its all snugly and warm and I dont even care that you're making my face cold because Im so warm everywhere else it doesnt even matter.
Hate: Paper cuts. But not even because they themselves suck. Because every time I get one, I think of how much I dont ever want to get stabbed. And then I get all freaked out and hope to God that if I ever get kidnapped the psycho will have the common decency to strangle me with his shoelace instead of stabbing me 78 times with a steak knife.
Love: Waking up sore the next day after doing something physically taxing the day before. Why? Because its proof man. Oh, yeah? You think Im a load of crap because I dont run 17 miles every weekend for fun? Well, my legs are killing me from walking that 5K yesterday, so you just shut your mouth buddy. Im important. My office smells of rich mahogany.
Hate: That instant at work when you realize that you are going to do nothing productive for the rest of the day. It can come at any time. If you are lucky, it wont hit until 3:30-4. If you are me, it usually sets in around 9:45. Cool. I only have 7 more hours to kill. Who can I go bother for the next 30 minutes? Wait, Im pretty sure they added a new Doritos flavor to the vending machine up on 9. Yeah. Thats what I'll go do. Yeah.
Love: Getting in the car and turning on the radio to that new song you really dig that you have only heard once or twice before. Its like puppy love. You guys just met, you are still all googly eyed over each other. In 7 weeks after Clear channel has decided to whore it out and you cant go 14 minutes without hearing it, the newness and excitement will wear off and you will eventually dispose of it for newer, less irritating options. But those first few times are just magic.
Hate: Peanut Brittle. Seriously? This isnt the 1800s. No one eats this shit anymore. And all the people that do will be dead in the next 5-15 years anyways. Close down all the Peanut Brittle factories. They are a drain on the economy. I heard they might even have played a small part in that current mess on Wall Street.
*Side Note: I could go on like this forever. But you are prob sick of reading by now. So I will end on a positive.
Love: You guys. Seriously thanks for reading. Have a great weekend shorties.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment