My soul is a raver

Oh hey there long lost friends! I trust this morning finds you well. In case you care even a little bit, my good for nothing husband has yet to fix my laptop, hence my absence. But I missed doing this and missed the emailed death threats piling up in my inbox every morning, so here we are!

Alright so if you weren't already aware of this, I am kind of mildly obsessed with dancing. As I have aged, I have found that my ambition for actually getting off the couch and attempting to assemble an outfit that doesn't involve sweatpants and a sports bra on a Friday night in an effort to go out to some kind of dancing facility wanes with each passing year. Also, to be honest, its pretty difficult to find a place to go out dancing that:
1) Is big enough so that you don't feel like you are having unauthorized sexual contact with the 732 other people packed into a room that's meant to hold 50.
2) Plays good music
3) Plays good music
4) Is full of people who are also just there to dance, and not there to have unauthorized sexual contact with parts of your body
5) Plays good music

Because of these barriers to me actually enjoying myself, and because I am not cool enough to know what radio station to listen to to find the location of the secret rave in the abandon warehouse, barn, or some one's parent's basement, I have resorted to dancing in my living room. With the curtains generally closed. With my husband and my dog, which sometimes turns into this:

And I do have a good time. **Side Note** Find a life partner that you can dance like a complete asshole in front of without feeling like a complete asshole. But even though I have fun, I still miss the drama and the intensity of actually going to a location other than my house to dance. Tying Christmas lights on the dog just doesn't give me the same feeling that standing next to this dude, under a leaking water pipe, in an abandon mental asylum does.


In the last few years, there have been a handful of pop songs released that make me freak the fuck out when I hear them. I literally can not sit still if one of these songs begins to play, be it in my car, walking down the street, or sitting in my cube at work, I must dance. Its like some subconscious compulsion, and no matter how hard I try to fight it, I never win. Much like that first puff of methsmoke after a week of sobriety, I lose my shit. After much deliberation, I think I have come to a conclusion on why these particular songs affect me the way they do. They all have that noise in them. You know the one. That high pitched electronic thing that crescendos--I was in choir in high school, impressive---right before the beat comes in. THAT is what I am allergic to. That is what takes over and makes my heartbeat like I just did 4 eightballs off the crack of some stripper's ass. That is what makes me go into super-crazy-freak-out mode. That noise is the method behind my madness. To give you some examples, here are my current top 3:

1) YES. http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?desktop_uri=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DJwQZQygg3Lk&v=JwQZQygg3Lk&gl=US

2) Double YES http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?desktop_uri=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dwyx6JDQCslE&v=wyx6JDQCslE&gl=US

3) God Bless this one. This is the one I use the most at home if I feel like really getting crazy: http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?desktop_uri=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D-Fe4dk0Jtcw&v=-Fe4dk0Jtcw&gl=US


Now, I'm aware that its not cool to like these kind of songs. Most cool people think this shouldn't even be considered music, and that only lame white kids like this shit. My response: That would be correct. I figured I would close by showing you a video of me and some of my friends dancing under a via duct in the middle of the day. Enjoy. And remember to always rave safe. Only take pills from people you know from experience are giving you good shit and always have a bottle of water nearby so you don't dehydrate and have an aneurysm.

http://www.youtube.com/create_account?action_creation_redirect=true&next=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DO_IGuUsqJwQ%26feature%3Dplayer_embedded%26noredirect%3D1

Happy Weekend

~Maria