2012. So did you see the movie? It was pretty ridiculous, while entertaining all at the same time. A lot like watching "Jersey Shore" (another one of MTVs televisual abortions-I took that from Stewie on Family Guy I cant take credit). Sidebar: that show makes all Italians look like complete f-ing douches. I can tell you that we dont all have stock in spray tanner and hair gel, some of us do know how to read beyond a 3rd grade level, and not all of us flash our vaginas at random people in bars on national television for the sake of...nothing. I will say though, the Italian shirts/tanks they all wear are super ca-ute. End sidebar.
So 2012. Things are supposed to happen. If you know the real me at all, you know Im a conspiracy theorist. To sum up my beliefs: JFK was murdered, our government had a hand in and/or at least knew about 9/11, UFOs are real,(vampires are not-Team Jacob), selling your gold is stupid because the dollar is going to lose all value and all you will be left with are piles of worthless paper, religion is a tool used to control you, the evening news is bullshit, there is no way we built the pyramids,if Jesus was real, and he were around today, I promise you he would be f-ing pissed, Velveeta cheese has to be 100% made of chemicals, but is still so delicious, annnnnd finally, Shit is going to go down in and around 2012. Its science. Im not taking about what you saw in that movie. Im taking about major political, economic, and financial changes for all of us. Im not an expert in any of those fields, and I dont claim to be. Im also not a Doomsday obsessor standing on your street corner with a sign stating "The End is Near".
All Im saying is, things are going to start getting worse than they already are, one way or another, and you should take 5 seconds of your time to think about what you are planning on doing when it goes down. Now that I have lost all 3 of my followers, and you decided I am a supreme douche, I want you to remember this: when you run out of food & are freezing to death because there is no electricity and you dont know how to make a fire, I will gladly share some of my Vegetable Soup & blankets with you....and I wont even smile when you look down into your bowl of soup and you see 'I told you so" floating back up at you amidst the carrots and peas. To sum up this Post in 4 words: TAKE TIME TO THINK. Thats it. Peace out. Im going to watch South Park while I still can.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
What your Facebook page tells me about you
Most people do not realize the implications of what they post on social networking sites. A simple profile pic or "About Me" section can summarize whether or not I would actually want to talk to you if we saw each other in person. I can even judge your level of douche-baggery just by reading your status update. Impressive? Yes. Facebook is supposed to be about keeping in contact with your friends, but the people who I am closest to are the ones whose profiles I visit the least. FB, is, in essence, a polite, legal way to stalk people that may or may not know you exist. Because of that, it is wise to think twice about what it is you are putting out there for people that dont know you, to see. Here are a few rules I have come up with.
1)If you use any of the following symbols more than once in any sentence, status update, or wall post-- !!!!!, :), :-D, LOL, OMG-- you better have either just won the lottery or are being held at gun point by terrorists for ransom. There is no reason to get overly excited about anything you write on FB. Really. If it's that exciting, pick up a damn phone.
2)Please. Stop putting up albums full of pics that are you by yourself, holding the camera to take a pic of yourself. One or two pics, ok fine. An album with 73 pictures of you taken in the mirror...alone-not ok. These albums are terribly depressing, and ruin my day. You either think you are incredibly attractive, or have no social life. Either way your desperation for attention makes me cry. Stop it.
3)Do not use the status update for anything other than a brief explanation of your current activities, or a place to post links, quotations, or song lyrics. Jennifer Simonson is: "So freaking mad right now!!!...." Really Jennifer? Guess what. Im going to make you even more mad by not asking you why you are mad. Do you know why? Because I dont care.
4)Vague descriptions that dont make sense to anyone but you / leaving your FB page blank doesn't make you seem cooler than the rest of us. You joined FB. You are already on the bandwagon. Stop pretending like you havent spent 3 hours looking through all the albums of the dude that sat behind you in Spanish 3 years ago. You know it. He knows it. We all know it.
5)Very personal information makes other uncomfortable. Perhaps invest in a journal. Im sorry for your loss, but I dont want to read about the details of your parent's divorce via a FB note. I do want to see drunk pics of you over spring break dancing on a bar or throwing up in a garbage. This is what FB is truly for.
6) Being 'In a Relationship' with a member of the same sex if you aren't really gay, is soooo 3 years ago.
7) Please dont post anything political. Unless you majored in political science or were actively involved in some kind of campaign within the last 2 years, I promise you, people will be making fun of whatever garbage is coming out of your mouth via your FB page. You sound like a moron.
8) No I dont want to join Mafia Wars.
9) Always be mindful not to mention in conversation any information you know about a person solely because you read it / saw a pic of it on Facebook. "So your grandma is Italian and tans really easily right?" Someone asked me that once. I was meeting them in person for the second time. Awkward.
10)Above all, remember that FB is not real. To maintain real, meaningful relationships, one must be successful at face to face interactions. Dont worry. You still have time.
1)If you use any of the following symbols more than once in any sentence, status update, or wall post-- !!!!!, :), :-D, LOL, OMG-- you better have either just won the lottery or are being held at gun point by terrorists for ransom. There is no reason to get overly excited about anything you write on FB. Really. If it's that exciting, pick up a damn phone.
2)Please. Stop putting up albums full of pics that are you by yourself, holding the camera to take a pic of yourself. One or two pics, ok fine. An album with 73 pictures of you taken in the mirror...alone-not ok. These albums are terribly depressing, and ruin my day. You either think you are incredibly attractive, or have no social life. Either way your desperation for attention makes me cry. Stop it.
3)Do not use the status update for anything other than a brief explanation of your current activities, or a place to post links, quotations, or song lyrics. Jennifer Simonson is: "So freaking mad right now!!!...." Really Jennifer? Guess what. Im going to make you even more mad by not asking you why you are mad. Do you know why? Because I dont care.
4)Vague descriptions that dont make sense to anyone but you / leaving your FB page blank doesn't make you seem cooler than the rest of us. You joined FB. You are already on the bandwagon. Stop pretending like you havent spent 3 hours looking through all the albums of the dude that sat behind you in Spanish 3 years ago. You know it. He knows it. We all know it.
5)Very personal information makes other uncomfortable. Perhaps invest in a journal. Im sorry for your loss, but I dont want to read about the details of your parent's divorce via a FB note. I do want to see drunk pics of you over spring break dancing on a bar or throwing up in a garbage. This is what FB is truly for.
6) Being 'In a Relationship' with a member of the same sex if you aren't really gay, is soooo 3 years ago.
7) Please dont post anything political. Unless you majored in political science or were actively involved in some kind of campaign within the last 2 years, I promise you, people will be making fun of whatever garbage is coming out of your mouth via your FB page. You sound like a moron.
8) No I dont want to join Mafia Wars.
9) Always be mindful not to mention in conversation any information you know about a person solely because you read it / saw a pic of it on Facebook. "So your grandma is Italian and tans really easily right?" Someone asked me that once. I was meeting them in person for the second time. Awkward.
10)Above all, remember that FB is not real. To maintain real, meaningful relationships, one must be successful at face to face interactions. Dont worry. You still have time.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Why I hate Running
Because it sucks. No one really likes it. I dont care what they tell you. Anything you have to convince yourself you like doing: smoking...drinking hard alcohol...eating White Castle... probably isnt good for you in the long run...ick a pun. Running fits into this category I do believe. I have been told I have to train my body to like it. But I ask you this...why? Why should I make my body like doing something it hates? Roughly once a year, I run a 5K. Mostly because some of my friends like running, and I get sick of feeling left out. The day after each 5K, I literally cant walk. Also, during each 5K, I consistently get passed by 75 year old women, 3rd graders, men pushing strollers full of children, and people in wheelchairs. This doesnt really do anything for my self esteem. I recently ran a Halloween 5K. As I came around a bend, I saw a huge orange archway that said "Finish". I sprinted towards it, passed it & stopped, at which point 73 people screamed at me to keep running, get out of the way, this is the 10 mile run finish line, not the 5K finish.....so. Like I said, running is for suckas.
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