Monday, December 14, 2009

2012 and Beyond

2012. So did you see the movie? It was pretty ridiculous, while entertaining all at the same time. A lot like watching "Jersey Shore" (another one of MTVs televisual abortions-I took that from Stewie on Family Guy I cant take credit). Sidebar: that show makes all Italians look like complete f-ing douches. I can tell you that we dont all have stock in spray tanner and hair gel, some of us do know how to read beyond a 3rd grade level, and not all of us flash our vaginas at random people in bars on national television for the sake of...nothing. I will say though, the Italian shirts/tanks they all wear are super ca-ute. End sidebar.

So 2012. Things are supposed to happen. If you know the real me at all, you know Im a conspiracy theorist. To sum up my beliefs: JFK was murdered, our government had a hand in and/or at least knew about 9/11, UFOs are real,(vampires are not-Team Jacob), selling your gold is stupid because the dollar is going to lose all value and all you will be left with are piles of worthless paper, religion is a tool used to control you, the evening news is bullshit, there is no way we built the pyramids,if Jesus was real, and he were around today, I promise you he would be f-ing pissed, Velveeta cheese has to be 100% made of chemicals, but is still so delicious, annnnnd finally, Shit is going to go down in and around 2012. Its science. Im not taking about what you saw in that movie. Im taking about major political, economic, and financial changes for all of us. Im not an expert in any of those fields, and I dont claim to be. Im also not a Doomsday obsessor standing on your street corner with a sign stating "The End is Near".

All Im saying is, things are going to start getting worse than they already are, one way or another, and you should take 5 seconds of your time to think about what you are planning on doing when it goes down. Now that I have lost all 3 of my followers, and you decided I am a supreme douche, I want you to remember this: when you run out of food & are freezing to death because there is no electricity and you dont know how to make a fire, I will gladly share some of my Vegetable Soup & blankets with you....and I wont even smile when you look down into your bowl of soup and you see 'I told you so" floating back up at you amidst the carrots and peas. To sum up this Post in 4 words: TAKE TIME TO THINK. Thats it. Peace out. Im going to watch South Park while I still can.

3 comments:

  1. Wait what- I'm still your follower, you didn't lose me!!!!

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  2. You gained a follower (me) - nice work douche, I love it, keep at it!

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  3. You are funnier than me. I'm not sure if that makes me want to work harder at writing or give up altogether. I chuckled to myself more than once during this read. Great stuff.

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