Stupid Stuff...God Im articulate

It's been a while! And Im back by popular demand....and by popular demand I mean 1 person asked me 3 weeks ago "Hey didn't you used to have a Blog or something?" Fail.

Anyways, Ive been thinking and I realized that I have an unnatural tendency to want to do things that are either very stupid, or that could kill me..or both. For example, probably 75% of the time Im riding shotgun in a car on the freeway, I get this intense urge to slam the car into reverse. Like, I have to tell myself several times in a row, "Dont be a f-ing moron, nothing good can come of this." OR "This isnt your car. You dont want to be responsible for killing the driver" AND " Get your hand away from the shifter thingy". Now, I dont know very much about cars(see: 'shifter thingy' paragraph 2, line 7), but I can assume that if one were to force a car going 65 mph into reverse suddenly and without slowing down, Im fairly certain the car automatically explodes. Its science. See thats the fucked up thing. I know it is dangerous and stupid. But I cant help it.

Another one. Pull up next to a cop at a stoplight,I want to gun it off the line. As soon as that baby turns green, Im stomping on the gas and blowing this A hole out of the water. Why?? Do I like giving dolla dolla bills to the city of Minneapolis? No not really. I dont know why. It just happens. 99% of the time I end up turning down my music and using my peripheral vision to see if he is staring back at me thinking Im trouble for coming up to a stop light blaring "Ice Cream Paint Job" out of my salvaged Corolla. Cuz Im so Hoooooood.

More non-vehicle related ones I want to do: Leaning way too far out over the railing of a balcony, knocking someone off of their bicycle as they ride past, jumping on a really tall stranger's back just to see if I can jump that high, yelling 'Bomb' on a plane, feeding Alka-Seltzer to a Seagull--dont act like you have never wanted to do this just to see if it works. You have. Stop lying to yourself. Its unhealthy--unplugging someone's video game right before they get to the final fight scene and havent saved yet, giving a baby a lemon.

So most of these are just mean. I dont know what that means. It could be because, as an only child, I didnt ever get to experience picking on a sibling, and instead was forced to pretend I was a dog to entertain myself, and drank out of a bowl on the floor. Sigh. I do know, I haven't ever actually done any of these things, but that fact doesnt seem to make me want to do them any less.