Saturday, January 21, 2017
I AM THE OTHER
Today is January 21st, 2017. One day since that man became president, 12 hours since the White House website removed the LGBTQ, Climate Change, Civil Rights, and Healthcare pages, and only a few hours before women and men across the country join together in solidarity to protest the changes about to happen to this great nation. Because make no fucking mistake--America IS already great. Perfect? Of course not. But when I think about all of the wonderfully kind, accepting, intelligent, crazy talented people I know here, when I think about all of the loving families, and all of the grandmas and aunties and friends and people with fame and notoriety that are for the first time in their lives, finding their voices, I know we cant all be as bad as they say we are.
See, Trump and his flunkies, and the Republicans in congress, and the Alt Right Nazis all want you to believe that this place we live is unbearably broken. They want you to be simultaneously ragefully angry and paralyzed in fear. They want you to believe them when they tell you--sometimes directly and sometimes more subtly--that we are broken because of poor people. Because of brown and black people. Because of sex and hormone crazed women. Because of the gays. Because of the atheists. Because of Muslims. Because of Immigrants. Because of the Native Peoples fighting endlessly for our planet. Because of Environmentalists. Because of Hippies/Hipsters/Freaks. Because your fear is money in their pockets, and they will do anything for more of it.
Once they've convinced you of these things, and more importantly, once they've convinced you that it's now ok to think these things and say these kinds of things outloud, it is easy to let your heart grow cold. To not even notice when that tiny flame of kindness and compassion quietly extinguishes itself. When the light that is the ability to truly see yourself in the face of another goes dark. And like a line of dominoes, everything else follows and comes crashing down. Now when you look, all your eyes see is OTHER, DIFFERENT, NOT LIKE ME. And you are afraid. Your fear can present as anger or disgust or arrogance or denial or indifference. But make no mistake, at your core, you are afraid.
I know there is nothing that I can say to make your fear/hate diminish. Like most good, true, important things, it unfortunately has to come 100% from inside of you. You need to notice your heart fire has gone out, and then you need to care enough to want to relight it.
But I want you to know this. Regardless of what the next four years bring, regardless of the things you do in the name of righteousness, regardless of the hurts you may cause us and our families and friends
WE ARE STILL HERE
WE ARE STILL HERE AND WE ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE
WE ARE THE LORAX AND WE SPEAK FOR THE TREES
WE ARE DEFIANT POTATOES
WE ARE THE GRANDDAUGHTERS OF THE WITCHES YOU WERE NOT ABLE TO BURN
WE RESIST. WE RESIST, WE RESIST
We will not go down without a fight. We will not shut up. We will not allow hatred to be normalized. We will always fight for love and goodness and kindness.
So turn away if you must. Pretend nothing has changed. But know that there are so so so so so many multitudes of us. Some of us you wont even be able to recognize at a glance as Other, but we are there. We have infiltrated your churches and schools and grocery stores and coffee shops. We are all around you. We are America and we are living right next door and we will not go quietly into that good night. We are here. We are here. We are here.
Thank you to everyone marching today. I love you. I love what you stand for. I send you light and hope for your safe return. Thank you for representing the Others.
~Maria
Wednesday, November 16, 2016
To Liberal White People: Now What?-Written by a fellow liberal white person that doesnt know shit but is trying
So.
Tuesday happened.
From here on out Tuesdays will just be a reminder of the 7th circle of insanity hell my mind went through Tuesday night into Wed morning as I sat on my couch alternating between ugly crying and utter disbelief and angry yelling at the tv. I waited until PBS called it around 1:40am because even though I started to have the anxious shits at 8pm that evening, and by 10pm I was seriously concerned, and by midnight I knew, but pretended I didnt, I still wanted to wait until it came directly out of someone's mouth:
Donald Trump has won the election for president of the United States.
Weve already all done this rehashing of trauma a shitton the past week. It sucked, he sucks, America sucks, everyone sucks, Im going to go live in a remote mountain hill with my family and social circle and we will learn how to make our own spirits from hillside grown barley and bramble berries and we will all live in peace with everyone in the glorious sunshine. Glorious yes, but that aint happening.
This election has shaken people to their core, and maybe more than ever, it has shaken liberal whites to their core. We who have said this could never happen in our america, because how could the people of this country elect someone who is backed by the KKK??? That said he will support a platform to repeal gay marriages? Who wants us to build a literal fucking wall separating our country from mexico? Who will overturn Roe v Wade?? This is 2016 for fucks sake!!! And our gay, and Muslim, feminist, and POC friends just sadly smile and pat us on the head like the giant dumb puppies we are, because they knew, and have always known what the underbelly of America looks like. Because they are the ones for whom that underbelly sneaks out of dark corners to bare its fangs when no one else is looking. They who know that liberal white America's silence on matters of racist/sexist/xenophobic/homophobic injustice isnt a statement of hatred, but an outcry of apathy. We dont care, because we dont have to care. It stops being an issue for many of us when we turn off the tv, or set down our phones. It never stops for them.
I have seen white friends and acquaintances throughout the last week that save social media for only happy uplifting basic stuff, begin to tentatively dip their toes into the waters of dissent and speak up and as a fellow white person I have mentally shouted THANK YOU!! and then have told them so. I also see the blowback from people saying that these gestures arent genuine, are an attempt to garner social media points, dont mean shit if you arent actually out there on the line. That perspective is valid, as it comes from a place of decades and decades of disappointment in how nice liberal white people dont seem to give a shit enough to actually do any of the real work for change. So I get it. As a white person, I think its my job to encourage those of us that are just beginning to be brave enough to get involved. Sure, dont expect a thank you from your black coworker for saying you think its wrong that Steve Bannon (RAGE STROKE skdjfaldskjfa) will be a white house adviser, but I can say thank you and talk to you about what else we can do to let our government know we dont accept this walking shit stain as a whisper in our new president's ear.
So what can you do?
*Continue to post article and videos and pictures on social media that show you dont support the kind of America Trump built his platform on. Dont be afraid to rile up your family. These are the conversations we need to start having and it CAN be done in a way that doesnt result in someone losing a limb (most of the time)
*Talk to the moderate people closest to you in person that dont agree with what you are saying. This will probably result in rage and shouting. Thats ok. Nothing worth doing is easy. Dont give up. Take breaks, come back to it at another time. These conversations are marathons not sprints. We are working on getting people to want to change whats in their hearts and that takes lots and lots of time and energy.
*If you have people in your life that are openly racist/sexist/homophobic because they have been embolden to be since the election, CUT THEM THE FUCK OUT. Your acceptance of their behavior is what perpetuates the cycle. (I get the last two points seem contradictory, but you will know if someone is a lost cause or not)
*Contact your congress people!! Seems silly at first but this can be very effective in enacting them to take a side. Huffpost just did an article about this, which is better than what I could tell you.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/contacting-your-congressional-representative_us_582a0965e4b060adb56f8e95?zc5s5ozyi3eszia4i%3Futm_hp_ref=black-voices&ir=Black%2BVoices§ion=black-voices&ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000047
http://www.house.gov/representatives/find/
*Give your money to organizations that are helping to fight in a meaningful way. Ask people who know more than you who they give to. Thats what I do. The ACLU is a good place to start.
https://www.aclu.org/
*Show visibly that you dont support Trump's platform of hate. Pins, buttons, shirts, hats, bumper stickers, flags. Be a walking billboard for justice. IMO I find this especially important in conservative areas. My city went Trump all the way, it wasnt even close. It is more important for me to be brave enough to show people in my city that I dont agree with their indifference or hate than it is for someone on a college campus surrounded by like minded individuals.
*Attend meetings and rallies in your area that promote social justice. Go to a protest. Does that seem daunting and scary? It feels that way to me too. But push that fear aside, tell it to fuck off, and go anyway. If you dont have anything going on in your area, talk to people and figure out how to start something.
*ASK QUESTIONS to other people that are actively involved in social justice movements and who know what they are doing. I dont consider myself one of those people, but I am talking to those people to figure out my place in all of this and how to help.
If you made it this far, thank you. Know that I wrote this from the best place in my heart, and that I am open to being told what I got wrong, or any sources you think I should add, remove. Know that I appreciate and echo your anger for your POC, Muslim, gay, female friends and want us all to cultivate it into something powerful in a way the majority of liberal white people in this country have never done before. Now is the time to stand up and take action, even if you've been too scared in the past. Now is the time to be on the right side of history.
Tuesday happened.
From here on out Tuesdays will just be a reminder of the 7th circle of insanity hell my mind went through Tuesday night into Wed morning as I sat on my couch alternating between ugly crying and utter disbelief and angry yelling at the tv. I waited until PBS called it around 1:40am because even though I started to have the anxious shits at 8pm that evening, and by 10pm I was seriously concerned, and by midnight I knew, but pretended I didnt, I still wanted to wait until it came directly out of someone's mouth:
Donald Trump has won the election for president of the United States.
Weve already all done this rehashing of trauma a shitton the past week. It sucked, he sucks, America sucks, everyone sucks, Im going to go live in a remote mountain hill with my family and social circle and we will learn how to make our own spirits from hillside grown barley and bramble berries and we will all live in peace with everyone in the glorious sunshine. Glorious yes, but that aint happening.
This election has shaken people to their core, and maybe more than ever, it has shaken liberal whites to their core. We who have said this could never happen in our america, because how could the people of this country elect someone who is backed by the KKK??? That said he will support a platform to repeal gay marriages? Who wants us to build a literal fucking wall separating our country from mexico? Who will overturn Roe v Wade?? This is 2016 for fucks sake!!! And our gay, and Muslim, feminist, and POC friends just sadly smile and pat us on the head like the giant dumb puppies we are, because they knew, and have always known what the underbelly of America looks like. Because they are the ones for whom that underbelly sneaks out of dark corners to bare its fangs when no one else is looking. They who know that liberal white America's silence on matters of racist/sexist/xenophobic/homophobic injustice isnt a statement of hatred, but an outcry of apathy. We dont care, because we dont have to care. It stops being an issue for many of us when we turn off the tv, or set down our phones. It never stops for them.
I have seen white friends and acquaintances throughout the last week that save social media for only happy uplifting basic stuff, begin to tentatively dip their toes into the waters of dissent and speak up and as a fellow white person I have mentally shouted THANK YOU!! and then have told them so. I also see the blowback from people saying that these gestures arent genuine, are an attempt to garner social media points, dont mean shit if you arent actually out there on the line. That perspective is valid, as it comes from a place of decades and decades of disappointment in how nice liberal white people dont seem to give a shit enough to actually do any of the real work for change. So I get it. As a white person, I think its my job to encourage those of us that are just beginning to be brave enough to get involved. Sure, dont expect a thank you from your black coworker for saying you think its wrong that Steve Bannon (RAGE STROKE skdjfaldskjfa) will be a white house adviser, but I can say thank you and talk to you about what else we can do to let our government know we dont accept this walking shit stain as a whisper in our new president's ear.
So what can you do?
*Continue to post article and videos and pictures on social media that show you dont support the kind of America Trump built his platform on. Dont be afraid to rile up your family. These are the conversations we need to start having and it CAN be done in a way that doesnt result in someone losing a limb (most of the time)
*Talk to the moderate people closest to you in person that dont agree with what you are saying. This will probably result in rage and shouting. Thats ok. Nothing worth doing is easy. Dont give up. Take breaks, come back to it at another time. These conversations are marathons not sprints. We are working on getting people to want to change whats in their hearts and that takes lots and lots of time and energy.
*If you have people in your life that are openly racist/sexist/homophobic because they have been embolden to be since the election, CUT THEM THE FUCK OUT. Your acceptance of their behavior is what perpetuates the cycle. (I get the last two points seem contradictory, but you will know if someone is a lost cause or not)
*Contact your congress people!! Seems silly at first but this can be very effective in enacting them to take a side. Huffpost just did an article about this, which is better than what I could tell you.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/contacting-your-congressional-representative_us_582a0965e4b060adb56f8e95?zc5s5ozyi3eszia4i%3Futm_hp_ref=black-voices&ir=Black%2BVoices§ion=black-voices&ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000047
http://www.house.gov/representatives/find/
*Give your money to organizations that are helping to fight in a meaningful way. Ask people who know more than you who they give to. Thats what I do. The ACLU is a good place to start.
https://www.aclu.org/
*Show visibly that you dont support Trump's platform of hate. Pins, buttons, shirts, hats, bumper stickers, flags. Be a walking billboard for justice. IMO I find this especially important in conservative areas. My city went Trump all the way, it wasnt even close. It is more important for me to be brave enough to show people in my city that I dont agree with their indifference or hate than it is for someone on a college campus surrounded by like minded individuals.
*Attend meetings and rallies in your area that promote social justice. Go to a protest. Does that seem daunting and scary? It feels that way to me too. But push that fear aside, tell it to fuck off, and go anyway. If you dont have anything going on in your area, talk to people and figure out how to start something.
*ASK QUESTIONS to other people that are actively involved in social justice movements and who know what they are doing. I dont consider myself one of those people, but I am talking to those people to figure out my place in all of this and how to help.
If you made it this far, thank you. Know that I wrote this from the best place in my heart, and that I am open to being told what I got wrong, or any sources you think I should add, remove. Know that I appreciate and echo your anger for your POC, Muslim, gay, female friends and want us all to cultivate it into something powerful in a way the majority of liberal white people in this country have never done before. Now is the time to stand up and take action, even if you've been too scared in the past. Now is the time to be on the right side of history.
Wednesday, October 12, 2016
Etsy--SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY
I don't know at which point one of my asshole friends told me that the money pit called Etsy exists, but Id venture to bet its been a good 8 years that Ive been gracing people all over the world with my hard earned and now my husbands hard earned nickles and dimes. It began as a way for me to support my artist friends but then quickly steamrolled into my current status which Id call a bi-monthly fix. My relationship with this site borders on abusive in that it does things to me that cause me to scream at it, and throw my phone, but then theres this grace period where I cuddle back up to it, and present it with a fresh bouquet of roses and things are sweet and lovely for a while.
Etsy is the Target of the Internet because 100% of its inventory is shit I in no way actually need, but that my heart will tell me I cant live without and before I know it that tiny orange cart in the corner says 3 next to it when all I was trying to do was look up what time TGI Fridays closes on Tuesday nights.
No, Etsy Ap on my phone, ( whats wrong with me ) I do NOT need a "here's more shit we recommend you buy so that your husband flips a table when the credit card bills comes" section. Its not necessary. Knock it off. I already have a problem without you giving me the crack for free.
My main areas of concern:
1) Rings. I have so many silver Etsy rings that Ive run out of fingers to put them on and soon will need to start wearing them on my toes in case I want to look even more like a Gypsie than I already do.
2) Pendant necklaces that I feel represent me as a person to the extent that if I was forced in a hostage situation to be identified by the jewelry I was wearing anyone who knows me would instantly says "yes, yes they have Maria, that's so something she'd wear".
3) ALL THE WALL ART. PUT IT ALL OVER ME. IF I WAS A STRIPPER ID ASK PEOPLE TO MAKE IT RAIN WITH WALL ART.
4) Tiny animal statues made of anything. I have 2 kids under 5 I cant have nice tiny things, what is wrong with me? I need a room just filled with animal statues I can go meditate in forever.
5) A kintsugi cup I'm not supposed to actually use. Again, where do I display this without fear of it being destroyed or someone spitting a mouthful of chewed bacon into it (a thing that actually happened in my house)
6) GRAPHIC TEES because I refuse to dress like an actual human adult and I need these shirts to let everyone know how I feel about GoT or Duck Duck Grey Duck.
7) Moscow Mule cups so I can pretend I'm in a Renaissance storyline when I'm drinking ice water
8) Tarot cards to become a fortune teller when I grow up
9) Enough Ceramic/Pottery to open up my own Etsy shop selling other peoples Ceramic//Pottery Ive collected
10) Front back earrings that I will inevitably lose the back to and then have to spend the next 3-4 days frantically searching for and hoping not to find it in my baby's diaper.
11) Hooded sweatshirts with mythical creatures printed on them
12) A spoon with a saying embossed on the scoop that truly serves no purpose whatsoever other than being able to say, hey did you see this cool spoon I own that has words on it?
13) A mermaid tail blanket. I shouldn't have to explain this to you if you don't get it, get on this level.
14) 8 small Japanese glass terrariums that I will for sure end up killing because I never read the directions
15) This fucking sweet lamp made out of a gourd
16) A custom pet portrait
17) A rhino or reindeer mounted head made out of corrugated cardboard that my husband and I will never agree upon a place to hang it so it will sit in my closet sadly for 4 years.
18) Gifts for others...?? Right that's why I logged in the first place
Etsy--I hate you I love you I hate that I love you.
Etsy Sellers--Stop being so creative and beautiful and glorious and way over charging me for something that literally cost you 1/10th of what I bought it for without question.
Husband--I'm sorry. It could be worse, I could be addicted to meth or Kate Spade bags (are those a thing, I think so?) Thanks for working so hard and being so smart that we have expendable income for me to be selfish with.
In conclusion, my Etsy life motto:
Etsy is the Target of the Internet because 100% of its inventory is shit I in no way actually need, but that my heart will tell me I cant live without and before I know it that tiny orange cart in the corner says 3 next to it when all I was trying to do was look up what time TGI Fridays closes on Tuesday nights.
No, Etsy Ap on my phone, ( whats wrong with me ) I do NOT need a "here's more shit we recommend you buy so that your husband flips a table when the credit card bills comes" section. Its not necessary. Knock it off. I already have a problem without you giving me the crack for free.
My main areas of concern:
1) Rings. I have so many silver Etsy rings that Ive run out of fingers to put them on and soon will need to start wearing them on my toes in case I want to look even more like a Gypsie than I already do.
2) Pendant necklaces that I feel represent me as a person to the extent that if I was forced in a hostage situation to be identified by the jewelry I was wearing anyone who knows me would instantly says "yes, yes they have Maria, that's so something she'd wear".
3) ALL THE WALL ART. PUT IT ALL OVER ME. IF I WAS A STRIPPER ID ASK PEOPLE TO MAKE IT RAIN WITH WALL ART.
4) Tiny animal statues made of anything. I have 2 kids under 5 I cant have nice tiny things, what is wrong with me? I need a room just filled with animal statues I can go meditate in forever.
5) A kintsugi cup I'm not supposed to actually use. Again, where do I display this without fear of it being destroyed or someone spitting a mouthful of chewed bacon into it (a thing that actually happened in my house)
6) GRAPHIC TEES because I refuse to dress like an actual human adult and I need these shirts to let everyone know how I feel about GoT or Duck Duck Grey Duck.
7) Moscow Mule cups so I can pretend I'm in a Renaissance storyline when I'm drinking ice water
8) Tarot cards to become a fortune teller when I grow up
9) Enough Ceramic/Pottery to open up my own Etsy shop selling other peoples Ceramic//Pottery Ive collected
10) Front back earrings that I will inevitably lose the back to and then have to spend the next 3-4 days frantically searching for and hoping not to find it in my baby's diaper.
11) Hooded sweatshirts with mythical creatures printed on them
12) A spoon with a saying embossed on the scoop that truly serves no purpose whatsoever other than being able to say, hey did you see this cool spoon I own that has words on it?
13) A mermaid tail blanket. I shouldn't have to explain this to you if you don't get it, get on this level.
14) 8 small Japanese glass terrariums that I will for sure end up killing because I never read the directions
15) This fucking sweet lamp made out of a gourd
16) A custom pet portrait
17) A rhino or reindeer mounted head made out of corrugated cardboard that my husband and I will never agree upon a place to hang it so it will sit in my closet sadly for 4 years.
18) Gifts for others...?? Right that's why I logged in the first place
Etsy--I hate you I love you I hate that I love you.
Etsy Sellers--Stop being so creative and beautiful and glorious and way over charging me for something that literally cost you 1/10th of what I bought it for without question.
Husband--I'm sorry. It could be worse, I could be addicted to meth or Kate Spade bags (are those a thing, I think so?) Thanks for working so hard and being so smart that we have expendable income for me to be selfish with.
In conclusion, my Etsy life motto:
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